Ep 028: How to Use Praise in Parenting to Grow Self-Motivated, Confident Kids (instead of People Pleasers)
Y'all, the facial expressions in this one are priceless - if you aren't already, go watch this episode on YouTube lol! I swear it's worth it.
Praising your kids is GOOD, right? It's positive reinforcement, it's connection, it's showing your kids you're proud of them and you get to celebrate together! Yes. And no. Not all praise is created equal when it comes to parenting.
There is praise that builds outer-reward/response systems that turn our kids into people pleasers.
And there is praise that builds a child's INNER reward system which results in self-confidence, self-trust, worthiness and resilience to failure.
Consciously praising our kids in a way that puts the choice, desire and power back in THEIR hands is KEY. Listen up to learn more and see how these SUPER SIMPLE shifts can benefit all of the relationships in your life.
Happy Parenting and Good Luck Out There!
Episode Resources:
The High 5 Study: "Ambiguous praise, similar to verbal effort praise, produced higher persistence and self-evaluations, and fewer fixations on error after failure compared to verbal trait praise. Interestingly, gestures produced the highest self-evaluations. Thus, praise without explicit attributions motivated as well or better than praise explicitly focused on effort, which may suggest that children interpret ambiguous praise in the most beneficial manner." - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4145712/
Effort vs. Outcome Praise: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6176062/
Praising your kids is GOOD, right? It's positive reinforcement, it's connection, it's showing your kids you're proud of them and you get to celebrate together! Yes. And no. Not all praise is created equal when it comes to parenting.
There is praise that builds outer-reward/response systems that turn our kids into people pleasers.
And there is praise that builds a child's INNER reward system which results in self-confidence, self-trust, worthiness and resilience to failure.
Consciously praising our kids in a way that puts the choice, desire and power back in THEIR hands is KEY. Listen up to learn more and see how these SUPER SIMPLE shifts can benefit all of the relationships in your life.
Happy Parenting and Good Luck Out There!
Episode Resources:
The High 5 Study: "Ambiguous praise, similar to verbal effort praise, produced higher persistence and self-evaluations, and fewer fixations on error after failure compared to verbal trait praise. Interestingly, gestures produced the highest self-evaluations. Thus, praise without explicit attributions motivated as well or better than praise explicitly focused on effort, which may suggest that children interpret ambiguous praise in the most beneficial manner." - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4145712/
Effort vs. Outcome Praise: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6176062/
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Happy Parenting and Good Luck Out There!
Help us do what we do with a small monthly contribution: https://www.patreon.com/TheRelationalParentCoach/membership
Join the WAITLIST for The Relational Parenting Village! - A New Monthly Membership Program where parents gather for community, growth, accountability and support. PLUS ongoing monthly live events, classes and education resources to keep you motivated and growing on your parenting journey. Let's do this!!
Find me or book a free consult:
Website: https://www.jenniebee.co/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therelationalparentingpodcast/
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.hayes.507
TikTok: @therelationalparentcoach.
Sign up for the weekly newsletter here for a weekly parenting tip!
Please leave us a review! Your feedback helps others find us, and helps us grow so we can keep creating content for parents to benefit from.
Happy Parenting and Good Luck Out There!